Sister-in-law pressures woman to become the sole caretaker of her ill mother, even though she is 8 months pregnant and preparing to be a new mom: ‘I don’t have the capacity—emotionally, physically, or logistically’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 23, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

A lot of people are willing to make a lot of sacrifices for their families. Their parents, siblings, and other loved ones often need us, and it's only right to give them the help they need, so long as we are also prioritizing ourselves at the same time. If we didn't keep ourselves happy, healthy, and mentally well, how the heck are we supposed to do that for someone else? Save for the fact that some folks might be carrying an extra life in their tummies and must prioritize them, too.

Like I said, family is important—but so are you. If you are asked to take on a difficult role, like being your mother-in-law's caretaker, you know your limits. The woman in this next story is asked to do this exactly, but here's the kicker: The woman is eight months pregnant and preparing to be a new mother in the next month. Her boyfriend's mother is incapable of taking care of herself, but another family member has given up caring for her because it was too difficult and demanding. In what world would a new mother be up for this task? Scroll below to see how the story unfolds.

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  • In my opinion, the woman is completely correct in setting a strict boundary with her in-laws. Luckily, her boyfriend has her back 100 percent, and it's only a matter of time until the in-laws back off. The in-law pushing for this the most is the woman's boyfriend's sister, who conveniently hasn't offered her own house to care for the mother in…

  • "I'm not okay starting our new family and relationship with this massive responsibility suddenly dropped on me."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA - 8 months pregnant, and my partner’s sister is pressuring me to take in their sick mom"

    AITA For not wanting the responsibility of taking care of my mother in law? I'm 8 months pregnant, working from home, and living with my boyfriend in a 3-bedroom
    via braziestbaby
  • townhome. One room is ours, one is for the baby, and one is a guest room. His mom is currently staying with another family
    via braziestbaby
  • member, but that person is no longer willing to care for her due to the demands of her illness and her difficult behavior.
    via braziestbaby
  • Now, my boyfriend's sister (who lives out of state and works full time in Chicago) is pressuring us to have their mom move in with us - claiming we have the space.
    via braziestbaby
  • She's not offering any real help, just insisting that their mom "has nowhere else to go" and that we should step up. The thing is, I'm
    via braziestbaby
  • about to give birth, and I'll be responsible for a newborn basically alone most of the day, since my boyfriend works outside the home.
    via braziestbaby
  • 185
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My boyfriend has actually spoken to his sister multiple times and made it clear that this setup isn't realistic especially with a -
    via braziestbaby
  • newborn on the way. He's been supportive and has stood up for me, but his sister keeps pushing the idea like we're the only option.
    via braziestbaby
  • I don't have the capacity - emotionally, physically, or logistically to care for a newborn and a sick adult who needs help with daily routines
    via braziestbaby
  • and appointments. I'm not a nurse, and I'm not okay starting our new family and relationship with this massive responsibility suddenly dropped on me.
    via braziestbaby
  • It feels unfair that I'm being cornered into this just because I'm nearby and working from home. I want to be
    via braziestbaby
  • compassionate, but I'm also. trying to protect my health, my baby, and the foundation of our future as a family.
    via braziestbaby
  • Am I the ah le for feeling this way or for not wanting to have this responsibility?
    via braziestbaby
  • Acceptable_Bid9147 NTA at all. You're literally about to have a whole human and your entire world is about to change, that's already more than enough on your plate. It's wild that someone who lives out of state, has no plans to help, and isn't taking on the responsibility herself thinks she gets to guilt- trip you into it. Working from home doesn't mean you're free or available to be a full-time caregiver.
    via Acceptable_Bid9147
  • You're not being selfish, you're setting a completely reasonable boundary to protect yourself and your baby. It's not "stepping up" to burn yourself out before you even get a chance to recover from childbirth.
    via Acceptable_Bid9147
  • Impressive-Ad7453 Not the slightest bit of an AH. You're about to bring a whole new life into the world, your plate is already overflowing. It's wild how people assume "working from home" means unlimited time and energy. Your priority right now is your health, your baby and maintaining some peace in your home not taking on a role that's basically a full-time caregiver. If the sister's that concerned, she can start looking into proper care options or step up herself.
    via Impressive-Ad7453
  • yameretzu NTA 'No' is a complete sentence. Tell her under no circumstances will you be taking care of her sick mother and will no longer be entertaining this conversation. She wants you to because she doesn't want to but a newborn is a lot of work and you have sleep deprivation to contend with, it's just not fair on you or the sick mother who will not be properly cared for because you won't have the capacity.
    via yameretzu
  • SomeoneYouDontKnow70 NTA. She should either hire a home health care provider to take care of her mom or put her in a skilled nursing facility. You're going to have your hands full with an infant within the month.
    via SomeoneYouDontKnow70
  • EwwDavvidd NTA. As a new mom to be, of course you don't have capacity to care for an adult with health needs. Sounds like she needs to be in an adult family home, or a situation where her needs can be met. I recommend encouraging the sister to contact local aging and dis lity services in your city or county for resources. Hold your ground mama! Glad your partner is supportive!
    via EwwDavvidd

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement mother reddit story family feud parenting entitled family sick reddit thread parent Reddit mom parents entitled people
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